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Re: Review request: publicity microflyer



[my apologies for spamming multiple lists, but others seems to be doing
the same and I'm unsure how to avoid doing that]

On Mon, 5 Jun 2023 at 15:15, James Addison <jay@jp-hosting.net> wrote:

> For and after the upcoming release of Debian bookworm, I'd like to
> (attempt to) promote Debian locally by distributing some small flyers
> that are intended to be cheap to print and that include a QR-code
> suitable for use from smartphones (relevant when the flyers are, for
> example, posted on public noticeboards).

Hi. That sounds like an admirable project.

> I'd like to gather feedback on the wording and content of the flyer;

I have this feedback:

I think your text works fine if your reader does know what an "operating system"
is. But if they don't, then I think your communication might be entirely unclear
to them.

I don't know the best form of words to address this issue, but below is a
quickly drafted suggestion. This text might have other flaws which I will
leave to you or others to improve. Good luck.

----- begin -----

Debian is a free operating system for computers of all kinds.  It can
replace other operating systems such as Windows and MacOS, thereby freeing
your computer from their commercial restrictions. Debian is entirely
non-commercial.

Debian is generated by a huge community of expert volunteer developers with
subject area interest and expertise in the software they maintain – and all
of the source code for that software is available for you to read, modify
and redistribute. It receives timely security updates and continous
improvements.

Debian also distributes 63,000+ packaged non-commercial utilities and
applications, including software for businesses, programmers, scientists,
educators and artists.

To learn about Debian and to obtain a copy that you can run and optionally
install, scan the QR code above or visit the website:
https://www.debian.org

----- end -----


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